The Stinky Plastic Box (not the gym, just another leisure blog)

There are so many things I have continually told myself I would never do again. But where does that get me? y nowhere, I tell you! It is quite pointless telling oneself that one is never ever ever ever ever ever ever going to use a port-a-potty EVER again.

Yes, folks. It had been YEARS! Many years full of many strategies of holding it in. From the classic crossing of the legs to reading a book to various upside-down yoga positions, I WAS NOT going to go in a port-a-potty. They are the #1 grossest places on the planet. I spend hours wondering over whether Adrian Monk would die or not, were he to ever find himself at least within 100 feet of one.

But yesterday, well, that was a different story.

Yesterday, SOMEbody was dragged along to her brothers’ football games. The games are held at a very popular park where real bathrooms would be welcome by ready tax-payers and open-armed locals. But instead, the poor citizens must endure the trauma of the port-a-potties the park is doomed with.

Toilet paper askew. Greasy finger prints at every turn. The stuffy stench confined to the plastic box I am expected to pee in. The soap is all gone. It provokes claustrophobia to the highest degree known to mankind. Even the not-so-squeamish scream when they see one. I meant to tell you before this paragraph began that if you were eating something while reading this, that you should either eat later or read later. Please do not barf on the keyboard as this will only make it worse. You would have to go buy another one and then sue me because of it. And that wouldn’t be nice because I’m not here to be sued. Consider THAT before making another move, mister!!

Basically, I was forced to tinkle twice in the terrible tower of toilet trouble. I would have thought of better “t” words if I weren’t so cautious about what I say.

Until next time, I bid thee adieu. Please, for the sake of Jessica, avoid port-a-potties at all cost. And if you ever must go in one, remember this entry. You’re not the only one who s them.

~Jessica