For my Loyal Fans

Well! I had no idea I was so popular.

Anyway, my loyal fans have been on their knees simply BEGGING and throwing themselves at my mercy. Why? Well, because they want me to blog more. I've taken quite a long no-writing break and I think that it is high time I got back. Or they think. Maybe my friends are subconsciously influencing my decision-making process. They are slowly taking over my mind. Soon I won't be me anymore. I will be them. Scary.

Sometimes I feel a little dorky because I have a fitness blog and not a blog-blog like everyone else. I am jealous. I have sort of sworn to get another one to write in at the same time. But I hardly have time to write on this one. So I just don't think I should start A Jessica Blog About Jessica Only (which is what I'd call it if I had one). I can express myself here enough whilst providing the general public (or at least Elizabeth, Michelle and Elayna) with interesting fitness-related information.

So last-last Monday, Elizabeth had spring break from her College-ing and so she, Michelle and I decided to run around the park while Marck and Sam were at Flag Football Practice. Elizabeth was very inspirational. I was lazy. Michelle was in the middle. Elizabeth kept quoting Romans or 1 Peter or something. I can't remember. If Elizabeth could remind me, I'd appreciate it because I would like to quote what she was then on here. And if it's 1& 2 Peter, you guys should know those are my favorite books of the Bible.

Well, that was conclusive. Blah.

Don't worry, folks. My next entry will be much more informative. In the future I think that I will attempt to write more informative things. But I also will take more time to talk about my life, so I can keep up with all the blog hype. This has been one of the latter types of blogs.

One more thing before I go. I think there are a couple more things I want to do…um…life and Personal Training-wise. First of all I want to get my PT Certification, then I'll get a Massage Therapy Certification (a very useful one for PTs to have), then I want to get a group fitness certification, then I want to study lots of cool stuff at the Glasgow School of Art. I need to look into all of that more, but I'm pretty sure that's what I want to do. It would be like my four years of college. Except cooler. Especially the part where I get to go to Scotland. In the meantime I will work on my Novel with No Name. I want to take my time with that book and get all the back stories and conflicts and stuff ADAP (as detailed as possible). So I will finish it. And then I want to send it somewhere and get it published. And then I'll write another book. But it will be completely different. Like me and my clothes. I don't want what I wear to be classified as a certain style, and I don't want what I write to be classified in a certain genre.

But since this isn't a fiction-writing blog, I'll stop for now before I disclose the entire plot to everyone and bore them half to .

Until next time, adieu!

~Jessica

Working for the MCA--Majorly Cool Association

Buenos nachos! Anyhooness, guess what?!?!?!

(*looks up to blank faces, an awkward silence and crickets chirping in the background*)

Well, no. Actually, I applied for a job. And this time it was NOT just for the money!

You see, there’s this new family-oriented gym that (for legal reasons) I will not name. Anyway, it’s a great place. My mom, dad and I went to Pizza Hut Wednesday night and then afterwards went to check out the place. It turned out they were having an open house, and this cool personal trainer named Anna gave us a tour. She was a lot like Jessica in 10 years, and gave the now-Jessica lots of advice and information on Personal Trainer-ing. It was…EMOSEWA, should I say? (It’s my friend Jeffrey who really says all his interjections backwards…I can’t take the credit, unfortunately).

So I asked for an application. She handed one to me and I, after looking it over, inquired as to what job positions were opened to little old me. That is, 16-year-old me. Anna wasn’t quite sure, so she went to find one of the guys in charge. His name was Rick, if I can remember right (nametags help, but I’m still horrible with names). Let’s just say he is a guy version of Jessica in 20 years. He said that I could work with the childcare or I could be a receptionist. He also said that they weren’t going to get a full staff for at least another 90 days, when the facility is complete. “If we don’t call for a while, that’s why.”

So after talking, he wrote us all passes to come back the next day for a free workout. “At least drop off your application,” he said. I really wanted to join that night, but neither my family nor I have sufficient funds at this point. If it were just me, I could probably afford it in January, but then…oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll join for myself and then get my mom some free passes. If all goes well, maybe he’ll hire me.

So the next day after swim practice, mom and I stopped by again for a free workout. I did half a mile on the elliptical, then worked out with various pieces of arm and abdominal equipment. That was pretty cool. But I’m weird like that.

However, Rick didn’t seem to think that. He and Anna are very likeable people. They consider my obsession with working out NORMAL. Imagine that! Anyway, just as I was finishing up, Rick came over and started talking to me. So I asked him some questions about where the best places are to get certified. He gave me some very useful information, as well as talked about the kind of people he liked to hire.

I find the environment very friendly and I really am considering joining in January. Although if I do, then I think I might rethink my schedule. Well, I kind of need to do that anyway for next year. Hey, if I do join, that means that, instead of getting up and exercising, I can get up and do my school work. I work a lot better in the mornings (after coffee, that is) and I think that I could be more time-efficient that way.

Well, we’re out of time for today folks. But remember, God made you special and he loves you very much. Bye!

~Jessica

Glimpse of the other side

Isn’t it great to have peeps that keep you in line?

Last night, my improv buddies were quick to point out that I was a little…grumpy that evening. I was asked if I had had a bad day. Reflexively I said “no”, which was true. It had been more like two and a half bad days. I didn’t really notice that I was being grumpy, but I’m sure glad they did.

I want to say I’m really sorry. Every little thing has gotten on my last nerve, and I've been a little snippy at just about everyone. One after another things have seemed to topple out of place. The show on Tuesday night got cancelled, the Christmas play got cancelled, my relationship with my dad is a little rocky, I’m somewhere on the brink of some kind of cold, and I’m incredibly tired. So much so that I didn’t swim earlier Thursday. I’m not blaming any of these situations. And swimming shouldn’t be my only anger outlet.

Last night, having had a Starbucks Frappuccino, Dr. Pepper and a Dum-dum at the same time, I was on a little sugar high and…oh, I don’t know. No excuses.

Maybe it’s good that we might be taking a break from improv. Maybe God’s saying we all need some “straighten up” time. I’m pointing the finger at myself, here, not at anyone else.

All of that to say, I really appreciate Jeremy and Dean
(and whoever else was there) pointing my attitude out to me.

Since this is a fitness blog (well, it's supposed to be, anyway) I will proceed to say something insightful about fitness. *ahem*

Four score and seven minutes ago Bill and Ted…um, wait.

My lower back hurts. I think it was all those backbends I was doing yesterday.

Thank you for tuning in. I shall now go eat some clam chowder.

~Jessica

Depression Mode

Geez.

I’m in a depression mode all of a sudden. I’ve hardly gotten any school work done this week (which means I have to catch up on Friday—ugh), and the only sorts of anything I’ve felt like doing are exercising (nothing new, of course), playing the guitar, doing my Bible studies and drawing.

In about 6 minutes I have to head out the door for swim practice. I don’t know what to do with myself.

You probably don’t want to hear all about how I got this way, so I’ll simply assure you it’s NOBODY’s fault that everything fell out of place this week. It just is, and I just have to keep praying and reassuring myself it will all work out.

In the mean time, I’ll work out. I’ll just go take all my anger out in the water. Yeah. That always works.

This is the last week of my extended “tan”. Officially. The bubble goes up this Saturday. I will then proceed to fade back to the ghostly white skin I was born with. Ya-hoo.

Because I’m white and nerdy!

Har har har, ya gawt thayat right thar, yo.

EXCUSE ME!!! Grammar malfunction there.

Well, it’s 12:30 and I kinda sorta really need to get going. We’re doing hundreds today (yay…I think…).

So long and thanks for all the fish,

~Jessica

Packs and Lenny Krayzelburg

Hooooo-boy, I’m tired. And I have to go do it all again tomorrow.

Yes, it was 55 degrees today again. It felt colder. I used it to my advantage, though. We had hard sets (well, harder than usual, anyway) and since I didn’t get too hot, they were easier. There was no humidity in the air (duh) so I could breath fine (except when I got out of breath).

But I’m sleepy. *snore**snore**snore* I’M AWAKE!!! I have a poster of Lenny Krayzelburg now. Cool.

So, we did 12 50’s on the :50. Fun. I like the new Weird Al CD. It’s totally emosewa. I have a two-pack if I flex really hard. It would be really cool if, in a few months, I got a four-pack. Or a six-pack. Or a 12-can box of Mountain Dew. Or I joined a wolf pack. Or played on the Wolfpack. Or maybe I should just get out more.

I am writing a new song. I would post the lyrics on here except a) Why would YOU like to know them? b) Legal reasons (dude, I could sell it or sing it or something) c) It’s not done yet d) I don’t think I would anyway.

Those are very good reasons. Adieu.

~Jessica

Soccer, Swimming and Doughnuts

Well, I was reading on Spice Line that there is a Soccer Club for highschool s. You know, a kind of place that’s no-pressure, where you (actually) learn skills and stuff for soccer. This would be good for me especially since I used to play soccer a lot with my neighbors. I don’t suppose I was that good, but I enjoyed it and would like to try it out again.

However, I have *cough* checked my schedule and, while I am free on the day it’s on, I already have 7,000 other activities every week (as mentioned before) and I am quite certain that my parents would either die of exhaustion or just get really mad at me for…well, several reasons.

So, I was thinking. Maybe I could stop swimming on Wednesday or something and then I could do soccer on Fridays. I wouldn’t feel as guilty about stopping one day of swimming if I were doing something else athletic. It’s technically cross-training. I get to run and…well, stuff. Maybe I should go buy some new shoes first. I need some anyway.

Buuurrrr. I can’t believe we had to swim today. It was 55 degrees (Fahrenheit, unfortunately) outside and Coach promised us that if we didn’t complain about the water being cold, then he would let us (Silver) out 15 minutes early. We didn’t, and he did. So it’s all good. I just feel really sorry for anybody who swam this morning. It was forty-something, I think. I would die of hypothermia.

Well, I’m absolutely starving. I ate cereal for breakfast (yes, I have a strange obsession with talking about what I eat), then some pretzels after swim practice, then half a bell pepper while doing my science. It’s dinner time but the casserole isn’t quite ready, so I must wait.

I feel very un-fat right now. As a matter-of-fact, I feel like I need to eat about 17 doughnuts right now. So I’ll go get a bag of Sweet 16, then go to Krispy Kreame and get another one (glazed with sprinkles) and then I will have approximately 17. But the Sweet 16 don't count as 16, because they’re little. So I’ll go BACK to the store and buy another bag. Then I will sit down, eat them all and become very sick. When I am well again I will probably ask for a cookie. If you give me a cookie, I will probably ask for some milk. If you give me some milk…

Um, never mind.

Well, I’m going to go pace around the kitchen as my body mass deteriorates. Bye!

~Jessica

Swimming Scholarship...? Nah...

Sorry. Sorry for not writing in a very long time, anyway.

I’m an extremely stubborn person. If I don’t like it, it really doesn’t get done unless somebody threatens me. Fortunately, I’ve become more optimistic and as a result I like more things.

One thing I still don’t like, however, is listening to my father rant and rave about how I can be better at…well, whatever he finds that I should be better at. I mean, I know that I need to improve on a lot of things. I also understand that he’s older and more experienced in everything. But I want to do my own thing. I know my weaknesses and I want to figure out how to overcome them myself. I don’t want a third party to help me out.

Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper too??

There are several things I, myself, would like to improve on. I would like to be more time efficient, for one. Being a very hyper person naturally, I love staying busy. But lately I’ve become much more busy than usual. I swim 3 days a week, I babysit, I do bookkeeping for my dad, I have Bible study and improv and, most of all, school. I’ve found that practically every spare moment has to be devoted to some sort of school. Right now I should be reading about Kidneys (yay). But instead I’m sitting here listening to Pink Floyd writing about how I SHOULD be more time efficient.

Well, good luck with that.

So, my dad’s latest crazy idea is that I should get a swimming scholarship.

Smells like Nirvana to me. He’s on a plane and he can’t complain. Whoohoo.

Okay, enough randomness (for the moment, anyhow).

So…gosh, the Nirvana guy is really selfish…FINE!!!! Anyway…swimming scholarship. Uh…well, that rules out Georgia Tech. Not that I wanted to go there anyway (no offense, but the only thing I can think that is exceptional about Georgia is that it’s on the way to Disney World).

YAY!!! Aerosmith!!!! Every emo teenager should let go and rock out to Aerosmith sometime.

I suppose it is completely logical for me to get a swimming scholarship. After all, my motto is, “It’s not impossible, you just haven’t done it yet.”

CALL ME THE BREEZE!!!

Oh, alright, I admit it. This isn’t a blog entry, this is a radio commentary. Now, back to the commercial.

So what if I started swimming on a team only last December? I’ve been told I have potential. I don’t know about you, but I really would like to loose 3 seconds off my 50 by at least the end of next summer. Even though I still won’t be exceptional, but I know I am perfectly capable of it. I may die in the process, but WHATEVER!!!

Remind me that I said that in about a year.

Anyway, I need to go do homework (aka extra school).

~Jessica

The Stinky Plastic Box (not the gym, just another leisure blog)

There are so many things I have continually told myself I would never do again. But where does that get me? y nowhere, I tell you! It is quite pointless telling oneself that one is never ever ever ever ever ever ever going to use a port-a-potty EVER again.

Yes, folks. It had been YEARS! Many years full of many strategies of holding it in. From the classic crossing of the legs to reading a book to various upside-down yoga positions, I WAS NOT going to go in a port-a-potty. They are the #1 grossest places on the planet. I spend hours wondering over whether Adrian Monk would die or not, were he to ever find himself at least within 100 feet of one.

But yesterday, well, that was a different story.

Yesterday, SOMEbody was dragged along to her brothers’ football games. The games are held at a very popular park where real bathrooms would be welcome by ready tax-payers and open-armed locals. But instead, the poor citizens must endure the trauma of the port-a-potties the park is doomed with.

Toilet paper askew. Greasy finger prints at every turn. The stuffy stench confined to the plastic box I am expected to pee in. The soap is all gone. It provokes claustrophobia to the highest degree known to mankind. Even the not-so-squeamish scream when they see one. I meant to tell you before this paragraph began that if you were eating something while reading this, that you should either eat later or read later. Please do not barf on the keyboard as this will only make it worse. You would have to go buy another one and then sue me because of it. And that wouldn’t be nice because I’m not here to be sued. Consider THAT before making another move, mister!!

Basically, I was forced to tinkle twice in the terrible tower of toilet trouble. I would have thought of better “t” words if I weren’t so cautious about what I say.

Until next time, I bid thee adieu. Please, for the sake of Jessica, avoid port-a-potties at all cost. And if you ever must go in one, remember this entry. You’re not the only one who s them.

~Jessica

Name Pronunciation Complaints Line (leisure blogging)

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by and other name would smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called.”

Translation for all the Shakespeare-deficient:

“Your name sucks. Get a new one.”

Apparently the name Jessica is both over-used and confusing.

I am constantly introducing myself to people, only to hear them reply, “Oh, I have/had a friend/cousin/girlfriend/mom/grandma/aunt/great aunt/sister named Jessica.”

WHAT a coincidence!!! Way to make me feel special. Sometimes the above remark is even followed by, “Isn’t that nice? I’ll definitely be able to remember your name.” Yes, wonderful.

My mother, may she rest in peace once she dies in about 55 years (or more *crosses fingers*), thought Jessica was a unique name, wherefore naming me said name I am now referred to as. I looked up my name online and I believe in 1990, Jessica was the third most popular baby name.

So, there’s the over-used part. As you may or may not recall, depending on how well your brain works (if you’re one of those cousin-named-Jessica-I’ll-remember-you people mentioned previously then obviously you do NOT recall what I am about to refresh you on) I pointed out that Jessica is a very confusing name.

I was so confused with my own name when I was smaller, I referred to myself as “Ed-i-ca”. My brother Marck, when he was born, called me “ca-ca”, our next-door neighbor Trey, when he was younger, called me “si-ca” and my youngest brother Robert called me “ga-gi-ga”.

However, Robert and I were more on track than some people these days. No, I don’t mean those who call me “Jessi” or “Jess”, because those I really don’t mind. They’re pet names and provoke pet-like qualities including loyalty and cuteness. Side affects may include following around like a puppy and amnesia.

The most common mispronunciation of my name is “Jess-kuh.” Grown men and women are apparently so consumed with their jobs that they seemingly have no time to include the second syllable in my three-syllable name.

“Now I’ll have more time to play LEGOs! Yay!”

“But I don’t know how to play LEGO.”

“But you don’t have to…it’s that simple.”

Alright, well…enough of that. Goodnight everyone.

~Jessica

What is a Jessica? (leisure blogging)

So, there’s this guy I really like. I’m not going to say his name because WHO KNOWS who may read this. I’m not going to say where he’s from either but ANYWAY…

Basically I don’t quite feel that soul mates thing, but I don’t quite feel the just here and now thing either. As a matter of fact…well, I don’t know. I just know I haven’t felt THIS strongly for a guy in a long while.

But you’re not here to read about that, are you?

You’re probably here wondering, “What is a Jessica?” Well, if you look it up in the dictionary, it will probably not be there. Look it up in the name book and you’ll see “God’s grace.” Look it up in the book of Jessicas and you will have to flip to “Barker, Jessica Claire.” There you will find the synonyms, “hyper” “klutzy” “stares off into space often” “highly caffeinated” “hippie-ish” “weird” “delusional” “can’t sit still” “creative” “overactive” “confused” “complains about being fat” “obsessed” “thinks too much for her own good” and “extremely bored half the time.”

Well, that much is basically true. At least, that is what friends and family have said. Which actually makes me consider…well, never mind. Anyhooness, tonight we’re gonna eat sushi and some soup-stuff that I can’t remember the name of, but it has seaweed and tofu in it. Basically, I’ve been eating healthy for a whole day now.

But I’m still fat!!!

Well, it might have to do with the fact that, despite my eating, I haven’t done any stomach-targeted exercises in two days. I swam yesterday and today I did yoga but I haven’t felt like doing anything else.

You know, it feels good to have a blog again. Maybe it just means I’m too insecure to go for very long without having a little place on the internet reserved for Jessica-nesses, or maybe I just love writing and sharing that plus lifeness with the world. Or both, perhaps.

Well, gotta go eat…so long and thanks for all the fish!

~Jessica

The Magical Transformation--my little Testimony

I used to be a very pessimistic person who didn’t really accomplish much. Typically I saw goals as too far to reach and quit what I was doing, before I even gave myself a chance to see that maybe it was possible. I even got to a point where I saw finishing something as impossible.

I don’t have the slightest clue when my view on life began to change. I believe, however, it was when I saw Johnny Weir at the 2006 winter Olympics, and then at the 2006 Worlds. What I saw was a great skater with fire and passion. He had appreciation on so many different levels for his sport. It wasn’t really a sport to him. He skated as though it were more of a performing art than it was a competitive art.

At that time I had been swimming two days a week on a swim team for about four months. It was my first swim team, and my first sport. I hadn’t been very athletic at all since I had dropped ballet for theatre in 2002. And you can imagine how I started to look once puberty hit and I grew taller, and grew hips. Don’t get me wrong; I did small things like mile-long bike rides ever-so-often when I felt like it, and swam six or eight laps at my pool every few days in the summer.

I loved swimming, and had always wanted to join a team. But I was afraid to. I guess I was mostly afraid of trying out. That is, trying out and being told that I was terrible at my strokes, or that I was too slow. I realize now that, by fearing the outcome of something like trying out for a team, I automatically limit what I actually can do. If I have a fear of not being fast enough, I slowed down.

It was late November, 2005, when I decided to let go of inhibitions, go to the pool and try out. Why? Well, I was angry and bored. Two weeks before I had just completed the production of a Christmas play with my drama group then, HeartBandit Productions. So post-play time was aggravating, and I had just gone through a rather devastating heartbreak the day before. During my tryout I was the only one there, and my anger plus my desire for anything to take my mind off everything drove me to swim faster and better. Within five minutes I had made the team.

Four months later, I had competed in one meet and placed second in the 50 free. But something wasn’t right. I would go to practice and swim the bare minimum. I slowly stopped enjoying long sets or challenging sprint reps. I started only caring about getting better. Better than myself, better than other girls on the team. My only driving force was competitiveness.

Watching Johnny Weir, I saw that, even though he hardly placed in top six in both the Olympics and World Championships, he had a love for skating. His driving force was way beyond competition. Sure, he wanted to win and was extremely bummed when he didn’t. But that didn’t take away his passion for his sport.

I wanted that. I wanted to love everything about swimming. Suddenly I wanted to get into other things too. I started getting up earlier and doing things on TV. I would do half-hour yoga programs and half-hour pilates programs. There were plenty of mornings when I just didn’t want to get up. But I would tell myself that, as sleepy as I was, I loved it. This was going to up my physical activity, enhance my swimming and I was going to love it. Just doing it would bring me joy. Because Johnny Weir loved it through all the hard times, why couldn’t I? After all, at the time, my only hardship was getting up an hour earlier than I used to.

Gradually my desire to want to like exercise faded into a desire to exercise. I’m not saying that every morning I jumped out of bed and started doing jumping jacks with a gigantic grin on my face that screamed “too much coffee”. Far from it, actually. But I began to enjoy my exercise time by myself, and with my swim team.

This never turned into an obsession with exercise (aside from a few days when I really did have too much coffee), but it did develop into, some time in July or August, a passion for athletics. A desire to strengthen, tone, to get faster. Most of all, a passion for swimming, which is really what I wanted most of all. And now I see it’s not only what I wanted, it’s what I needed.

A love for sports, athletics and fitness is something I want to share with everyone, especially highschool students. Whether one is overweight, chunky in areas, underweight or just fine (defined by your opinion of yourself and not Vogue magazine--nothing against it, just making a generalization) I want them to be healthy and fit in one way or another. And I want them to not only love the benefits they reap from being fit and healthy, I want them to love the process. It gave me a meaning in life, a meaning in my sport and, let’s face it, a better body.

I am going to try to blog at least three days a week. I’ll share personal experiences with you in my own journeys (such as a running program I started this week, which you will probably hear about a lot), share tips with you and give you a little insight into the life of a Jessica. I’m only 16 and do not have a certificate of any kind as a trainer, but I have learned a lot about many different health and fitness-related topics over the years and especially over the summer. With that in mind, feel free to comment about my entries and ask questions. I will give you the answers to the ones I know for sure I can answer myself, and the others I will recommend someone or something that can.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Soon I hope to have a website going with even more information.

Have fun with life. Go do something fun, preferably active (sitting down and reading about how to do it can help your mind to prepare you to do it, but sitting here forever playing online poker afterwards is not). Just kidding around.

I’ll write later, seeya!