PTS: Post Thanksgiving Syndrome

I never make time for the things I don’t have time for. Blogging is one of those things. Right now I really should be doing Anatomy.

So, last Thursday was Thanksgiving. You know what? I’m an impossible case of atrocious eating. I had a large lunch Thursday, pigged out Thursday night on junk food, ate ANOTHER lunch Friday, went out to an Italian restaurant Saturday and had a barbeque on Sunday (all the while drinking copious amounts of Mountain Dew, as well as reading and watching TV to no end). And you would think that after all that I would completely turned off to anything but fruits, vegetables and faux crab meat.

Not so.

I started a "food journal" today. I've had breakfast, midmorning snack, lunch, after-swim practice snack, and an afternoon snack closely following the after-swim practice snack. And who knows what I'll eat for dinner.

I’ve been exercising obsessively (as well as going back to swim practice-finally), and slowly my body is reassuming its pre-Thanksgiving-break shape. Maybe by Saturday.

Oh, you all will be happy to know I have FINALLY devised a running program that WORKS. First of all, it’s jogging, not running. Secondly, I’m doing it for time, not distance. I’ll jog around my yard for 20 minutes at eight in the morning (on days I don’t swim). It’s short enough for me to stick through and long enough for me to feel slightly "miserable" afterwards. I went out and bought one of those new iPod Shuffles (note: it’s trademarked by iPod. Too bad about the product placement. I could make a lot of money if more people read this). Anyway, it’s nice because I can clip it to whatever I’m wearing and then jog to “Dead Man (Carry me)” by Jars of Clay all the time, since I am established as overly obsessed with that song now. But I have a longer playlist than that, trust me. The music distracts me enough (from the pain) and it allows me to get into a rhythm. Basically it’s my answer to jogging on a treadmill in front of the TV.

However, I think I would rather jog on a treadmill in front of the TV, because then I could avoid puzzled looks from my neighbors. Or at least avoid the knowledge that they are probably looking on in wonder and talking about how weird I am.

Anyway, that’s all I feel like saying now. I’ll keep updating you on some more exercises as well as my journey to look like a Jessica again, instead of a big fluffy cloud in future entries.

So long, my oiled fins!
~Jessica

These Dreams--and Workout part 3

IT’S FUN TO SAY STUFF IN FRENCH ACCENTS!!! It’s even more fun to say things both in French and with a French accent.

In answer to Elayna's question, the second exercise in my last entry is to be done at a moderately slow pace. Something like, 2 seconds going up, and 2 seconds coming down. Maintain control and don't let your leg swing around wildly. Thanks for your comment! (p.s. about the 20 & 10 thing--I may be able to write the screenplay next month unless you really want to).

Well, last night I dreamed a very interesting ongoing dream. Firstly, it was “November Halloween” (the Halloween in November) and the State fair was back in town. And I was hanging out with this group of s that decided to get together for a sleepover in the Ferris wheel. So we did that, and then I went to the beach with some people I actually know.

At the beach, we (like, Jeffrey, Jeremy, Dean, Joanna, Allison and my mom and some other filler people) took turns reading the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy aloud, and we were about to go back and do The Hobbit when my mom declared that it was “quiet time” and we had to sit around and do stuff quietly. So, my mom went to bed. I decided to read the dictionary, Jeffrey did Sudoku, Dean was playing on the computer, Jeremy read the newspaper and Joanna and Allison communicated in ASL.

Then my alarm went off. Thuh-ehnd.

Well, that’s off my chest. Now on to more important stuff.

Lie on your left side. Now, roll over on your side. Your left arm should be supporting your head, and your other hand should be placed on the floor in front of your bellybutton to support you. Are your legs on top of each other? Good! Point your toe and lift up your right leg. Not very high up, maybe about 8-10 inches away from your left leg. You should be lifting with your outer thigh. Hold for a second or two, then lower down. Do this for 25 reps if you’re a beginner and 50 if you’re advanced. Roll over onto your right, assume the same position and do it again with your left leg. Remember to also concentrate on balance and coordination.

For our next exercise, roll back over onto your left. You can keep your hands in the same position mentioned in the above paragraph. Bend your right leg and place your foot on the floor directly behind your left leg. Flex your left foot. This is a small movement targeting the inner thighs. Lifting from the heel, bring your left leg up off the ground about 6-8 inches, and slowly bring it back down again. Again, beginners do 25, advanced 50. Remember to repeat on your right side.

At last, it is time for our third and final teen fitness exercise of the day. Roll on to your left side AGAIN. Now bend your knees so that they are a 90 degree angle, and bring your hips up towards your torso at a 90 degrees. Basically you should look like you are sitting in a chair laid on it's side on the ground. You will be lifting with your knee, targeting the buttocks. Lift your left leg 6-8 inches up from your right leg and then lower down slowly. Keep your ankle and knee parallel with each other. Make sure you’re in control the whole time. Don’t let anything fly up or drop down. As usual, I recommend 25 for beginners and 50 for advanced.

And also as usual, I urge you to PLEASE leave a comment if the exercise descriptions are unclear. I apologize for not having pictures but it’s not my fault. No need to get all angry at me or anything.

Well, so long and thanks for all the fish!

~Jessica

My workout Part Two (but don't eat the floor)

Before we continue on with today’s portion of the daily workout thingy, I will proceed to describe a dream I had to you last night:

Okay, well, I actually don’t remember any dreams that I had last night. All I remember was coming back from some awards banquet for my brothers, watching football, thinking about brownies, watching more TV and then getting knocked out the moment my head hit the pillow. Next I knew it, it was 6 am and my alarm decided to go off. I guess that means I slept well, despite the Dr. Pepper I had at the banquet.

Well, WHAT a dream.

Oh, yeah. Never mind. That really happened.

Anyway, on to our teen fitness full-body workout part two! Today we will work our back and our buttocks.

Now, lie on your stomach. This means you’re looking at the floor and your back is up. Do not taste the floor. You don’t know where it’s been. Stretch your legs and arms out, so that you are like a long rug on the floor. Okay, lift up your right arm and your left leg. Make sure that at least your chest is off the floor and most of your thigh is, too. Now, hold for 20 seconds. Switch afterwards, holding your left arm and right leg up for 20 seconds. Rest. Lastly, lift both arms and both legs simultaneously, and if you can, hold for 40 seconds. Make sure to really engage and contract both your upper and lower back. Rest again. You’re done with that!

The second and last exercise I will describe to you today is done on your hands and knees. Square your hips and your shoulders, and now lift your leg up, still bent, so that your thigh is level with your back, and then slowly lower it back down. You leg doesn’t touch the floor, just stays hovering about an inch above it. Really squeeze your buttocks as you come up, and control it as it comes down, don’t let momentum carry it. Beginners do 15-20 each side, intermediate can do 20-35 each side, and advanced can do 32-50 each side.

As I said before, please feel free to comment if the descriptions of these exercises aren’t clear. I’ll try and clear them up as best as I can.

Thank you all for your attention!

Till next time,

Jessica

My workout (with a little help from Nirvana)

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve devised what is basically a full-body workout. However, considering that I don’t want to take all of one day to write it and you probably don’t want to take all day reading it, I will recall it to you day-to-day this week.

Now, allow me to warn you that these are the movements and repetitions that work for me. Depending on your fitness level, you may want to begin with more or less than what I do myself. Basically what I am saying is that I have no idea what my actually fitness level is on a scale of 1-10. All I do know is that these work for me. I feel the burn and see results, to put it in a blunt cliché-ish form.

I will attempt to describe these as visually as possible. I do not know how to put pictures on an actual entry, and I think if I did then it would take forever to because there are so many movements. If the descriptions are unclear, please feel free to leave a comment telling me so, and I will attempt to revise what I’ve written either here or in my next entry.

I suggest listening to music while exercising. It helps the time go by faster and keeps a rhythm going. I had a dream last night where I was locked in my room listening to a Nirvana-athon on the radio. This has resulted in my having Nirvana songs in my head all day, along with the Weird Al parody. They all basically have the same rhythm (*cough*) so I can use them to my advantage and work out to them. But considering that Nirvana isn’t the top-choice among a lot of people, you can listen to anything: Wham, Madonna, the Who, the Chili Peppers, Larry the Cucumber, Metalica, M&M (I like to spell his name that way)…you know, whatever suits you.

I always begin with abs. I don’t know why, but I do. I lie on my back with my feet on the floor and my knees at 45 degrees (fitness is good for Geometry application) and do 100 standard crunches. Then I tilt my knees slightly over to my right and crunch up, making sure to get both shoulders off the ground. This works the sides of the waistline. I do 50 of these on one side and then 50 on the other. Back to the center. Pick your feet off the ground and move your still-bent legs to 90 degrees. Now, lift your hips up and down. This is only a small movement but is very effective for the lower abs. I do 100.

Note—For beginners I suggest cutting the reps at least in half. That’s 50 of the regular crunches, 50 of the reverse crunches and 25 to each side for the sides. You may also want to take a 15-second break after each set of five or ten.

Well, there you have it. Part one of your daily workout. I hope it works for you as well as it works for me, and I’ll write again tomorrow!

Love and Peace or Else,

~Jessica

Sleepytime mottos

Usually when I say, “It’s vital to my health and well-being”, I’m talking about some sort of play I want to be in, or something sweet.

But this time, I’m talking about sleep.

Oh…woe is me! The night before last I didn’t sleep well because of all the caffeine I had beforehand. But last night, I didn’t technically have anything of that sort. I went out with Amy and Katherine, and we stopped by their favorite coffee shop (that one with the elk-thing as its logo) and I got some decaf minty-something. It was good. Then we went to Wal-mart and I got hyper because we were shopping. I bought a hoodie, a keychain and some mints.

I got home about 11:15. I went to bed about 12:15. Then I woke up after what felt like the longest time. I looked over at the clock and it said 12:45.

What is it with me??

I tossed and turned the rest of the night, having some strange dream where there was a law that everybody had to dress as either a sledgehammer, anvil, or something else potentially dangerous for Halloween.

So, I’m wondering if it’s the sugar, or just my cold that haunts me. I don’t really have a cold at all, except (apparently) when I lay down to sleep. How convenient.

I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that.

Now, the hoodie I got says, “Strength, Spirit, Sport.” I like that a lot. It’s a new motto of mine.

You: “Not another motto!!!”

Oh, you be quiet. I love strength. It makes me feel powerful (thank you, Capt. Obvious). Just the sound of it makes me think about muscles. But there’s also mental strength, which is really more of the spirit part. Both of these build up to the sport part. It’s kind of like in 2nd Peter where God is telling us things to add to our faith (if you’re lost, just play along). They are virtues that produce a fruitful Christian life. Strength and spirit produce a “fruitful” sport. In other words, you’ll prosper.

Anyway, I’ve got to head over to my grandma’s and eat pizza. So long!

~Jessica

Glimpse of the other side

Isn’t it great to have peeps that keep you in line?

Last night, my improv buddies were quick to point out that I was a little…grumpy that evening. I was asked if I had had a bad day. Reflexively I said “no”, which was true. It had been more like two and a half bad days. I didn’t really notice that I was being grumpy, but I’m sure glad they did.

I want to say I’m really sorry. Every little thing has gotten on my last nerve, and I've been a little snippy at just about everyone. One after another things have seemed to topple out of place. The show on Tuesday night got cancelled, the Christmas play got cancelled, my relationship with my dad is a little rocky, I’m somewhere on the brink of some kind of cold, and I’m incredibly tired. So much so that I didn’t swim earlier Thursday. I’m not blaming any of these situations. And swimming shouldn’t be my only anger outlet.

Last night, having had a Starbucks Frappuccino, Dr. Pepper and a Dum-dum at the same time, I was on a little sugar high and…oh, I don’t know. No excuses.

Maybe it’s good that we might be taking a break from improv. Maybe God’s saying we all need some “straighten up” time. I’m pointing the finger at myself, here, not at anyone else.

All of that to say, I really appreciate Jeremy and Dean
(and whoever else was there) pointing my attitude out to me.

Since this is a fitness blog (well, it's supposed to be, anyway) I will proceed to say something insightful about fitness. *ahem*

Four score and seven minutes ago Bill and Ted…um, wait.

My lower back hurts. I think it was all those backbends I was doing yesterday.

Thank you for tuning in. I shall now go eat some clam chowder.

~Jessica

Depression Mode

Geez.

I’m in a depression mode all of a sudden. I’ve hardly gotten any school work done this week (which means I have to catch up on Friday—ugh), and the only sorts of anything I’ve felt like doing are exercising (nothing new, of course), playing the guitar, doing my Bible studies and drawing.

In about 6 minutes I have to head out the door for swim practice. I don’t know what to do with myself.

You probably don’t want to hear all about how I got this way, so I’ll simply assure you it’s NOBODY’s fault that everything fell out of place this week. It just is, and I just have to keep praying and reassuring myself it will all work out.

In the mean time, I’ll work out. I’ll just go take all my anger out in the water. Yeah. That always works.

This is the last week of my extended “tan”. Officially. The bubble goes up this Saturday. I will then proceed to fade back to the ghostly white skin I was born with. Ya-hoo.

Because I’m white and nerdy!

Har har har, ya gawt thayat right thar, yo.

EXCUSE ME!!! Grammar malfunction there.

Well, it’s 12:30 and I kinda sorta really need to get going. We’re doing hundreds today (yay…I think…).

So long and thanks for all the fish,

~Jessica